Beep. 7:30am. I’m supposed to run, fuck that.
Beep. 8:00am. Just get your ass up, fuck that.
8:30, 8:45, 9:15, 9:30,9:35, 9:40. Alright, alright, fine I’ll get up. I’ve got work in fifty minutes anyway. Why does my back hurt? Jacuzzis and Martinis DO NOT MIX.
I’ll take a quick shower, and still have enough time for a cup of coffee, oh thank god. I still feel like crap. Work is clearly not an option today, I’ve got to leave in ten. Good, I need food. Bagels, no. Hard boiled eggs, no. I can’t stomach any of this crap. V8! Victory, chug it down.
It’s not only good for hangovers, it is really quite good on it’s own. The stuff is packed with sodium, oh delicious sodium. DO NOT GET THE LOW SODIUM V8! I guarantee life will suck. Also, drink it cold. When it’s cold it’s think and a little lumpy, the way I like it. When it’s room temperature the viscosity is like water, and the taste is mildly offensive.
I hated it at first, but like most good things in life like whiskey and public radio, I learned to love it. Now it’s part of the routine. It’s a great pick-me-up too, if you don’t think you’ll make it till lunch. They make a 5.5oz can, I don’t know what that bullcrap is about. Get the 11.5oz can, it’s the perfect amount.
Fucked if I know if it has electrolytes, but drink this post boozing and you’re golden. If you’re feeling like a real trooper in the morning, have a hair of the dog that bit you, and drink a bloody mary. Much respect.
Alright, I’m swearing off alcohol for at least a day. I’ll run tomorrow, probably, maybe.
