Review That Shit » Chris http://blog.reviewthatshit.com Judging You Capitalist Swine Sat, 17 Jul 2010 16:46:08 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 On the Hook, Redhook ESB http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/archives/515 http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/archives/515#comments Wed, 14 Jul 2010 17:13:42 +0000 Chris http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/?p=515 The beer I always remember to forget. It’s a shame too because it is really quite excellent. The box touts its complexity and that is seemingly a fair assessment.

A couple of margaritas, a case of beer, and a dead pool mouse are all you need for a good time. Summertime means BBQs, beer, and Beach Boys. Commence.

This is my new Blackberry Storm Coaster Application, the only thing the phone does well. Willing to sell patent for mad cash.

]]> http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/archives/515/feed 0 I Loathe You http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/archives/508 http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/archives/508#comments Mon, 12 Jul 2010 06:51:49 +0000 Chris http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/?p=508 This isn’t going to be the first time I insult a crippled person, and it sure as hell won’t be the last. Look, crippies, and fatties, taking pictures at the zoo is not nature photography. It is however bullshit. I see you there with your $5,000 camera, and your $3,000 lens, yes I know, because I lust after such equipment, but that doesn’t make up for the fact that you’re in a fucking zoo.

Never mind the fact that the older I get the more depressing zoos get, but instead realize that part of nature photography is the patience and dedication that it takes to get those amazing shots. Then you come here, pay your $15, $20 if you’d like a tour on the train ride (I recommend the train ride) and get your beautiful closeups.

At least ditch the Rascal, and get one of them hand operated wheel chairs. You make me sick you fat crippie.

Well yeah…. I took pictures at the zoo. It was that or talk to the family.

]]> http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/archives/508/feed 0 Lithium-ion Firework Display http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/archives/504 http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/archives/504#comments Tue, 06 Jul 2010 20:21:54 +0000 Chris http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/?p=504 Today, spam bots of all ages and genders, instead of a half assed review I present to you an exploded MacBook Pro battery. In the days of yore Apple had removable batteries for its MacBook Pro. Apparently this battery decided to execute some self removal.

No, it didn’t blow up in my lap and destroy my crotch, causing me to be a self loathing eunuch. During the whole battery recall some time ago I somehow wound up with three batteries, which I didn’t need, so I stored two of them in the garage. In retrospect I suppose that was stupid as it gets over one-hundred degrees, and now I have a destroyed battery. Pretty cool though, I think. The packets inside feel like gel packets, which are now sitting in my room probably causing some sort of cancer.

]]> http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/archives/504/feed 0 Shut Up and Listen http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/archives/492 http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/archives/492#comments Tue, 06 Jul 2010 02:21:17 +0000 Chris http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/?p=492 Not to me, that would be foolish, but to the Grado Labs headphones.

Well built, and sexy like me, these headphones are well worth the $80 price tag. The open ear design with the thick foam pads make for long comfortable listening sessions whether it be the melodic sounds of Beethoven, Britney Spears or porn.

They are easily expandable, and the leather band is quite pliable making it simple to accommodate your afro or fat head.

Sound reproduction is excellent with the baseline SR60 model, now upgraded to the SR60i. For you audiophiles and rich people purists there are more expensive models. Most of us will do just fine with the SR60s. There is a warmth in the sound, the highs don’t over modulate, and the lows don’t muddle.

Now go buy the headphones so I don’t have to listen to you playing Starcraft all day.

Grado Labs

]]> http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/archives/492/feed 0 Vans You Can’t Live In http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/archives/485 http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/archives/485#comments Sat, 03 Jul 2010 20:54:04 +0000 Chris http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/?p=485 Like I know what the hell I’m doing. I nearly killed myself trying to balance on that dammed skateboard. Back in the day I tried, I really did , to learn to skateboard. I got a cheap one from Costco, and for the next few weeks in the privacy of my garage smashed that plank of wood with wheels against my ankles. In the end I could ollie, sort of.

My shortcomings aren’t going to stop me from owning a pair of Vans. Be them classic or the more contemporary variants I am a fan of their simple design, and distinctive white trim. However those models with all that nasty design crap all over them are pure rubbish. Mind you, I now wear them with Dr. Scholls inserts because there isn’t much support especially for my freakish high arching feet.

One day, maybe, I will become too old to wear these shoes. Then what, Sketchers? Bla.

]]> http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/archives/485/feed 0 Bushmills Baby http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/archives/467 http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/archives/467#comments Sat, 03 Jul 2010 01:57:27 +0000 Chris http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/?p=467 If you’ve never seen the HBO original “The Wire,” I suggest you do so. If you’ve never had Bushmills I suggest you drink some.

Drink it neat, on the rocks or mixed, it will always go down smoothly with just the right touch of dryness, and pungency. Sock the bottle away in your pack, and hit the trails. This is the drink of choice to pass around a campfire.

It’s currently a steal for fifteen bucks at the local CVS. In years past it was rarely on sale and generally sold for around twenty two smakerinos.

]]> http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/archives/467/feed 0 A Trail http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/archives/452 http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/archives/452#comments Thu, 01 Jul 2010 04:55:56 +0000 Chris http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/?p=452 Not much to say here, just posting a trail. It’s off the 14 freeway in Santa Clarita by the Park and Ride on Newhall Ave.
It’s a pretty solid accent as can be seen here.
Also beware ticks, I have been informed that they run rampant. Wear a dog collar if you must.

It’s a good loop and the freeway noise abates while descending the back half of the ridge. Worth checking out if you’re on foot or mountain bike. Also, it would appear horses travel these trails, and as always crap all over them.

]]> http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/archives/452/feed 0 World Football, American Soccer. More Mysterious Than Women http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/archives/407 http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/archives/407#comments Tue, 29 Jun 2010 18:00:02 +0000 Chris http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/?p=407 We tried dammit, I swear to you world. America put it’s best foot forward this year in an attempt to embrace soccer…. err football. I can tell you without reservation that people do care. I have never seen such elation as when the U.S. scored in extra penalty minutes against Algeria. I was half asleep in the sports book after a long night of playing craps, and it scared the shit out of me when the cheers erupted.

Will I watch major league soccer after this, well no. I may never fully appreciate the sport, but I can respect it. Hell, I own equipment for just about every sport except soccer. My national pride just wants to whomp on the world. It doesn’t matter what the sport is as long as America is the best. I’m an American for gods sake, and I need to be the best at everything. It kills a bit of my being that we can’t destroy the world at its own sport.

Much respect soccer/football, I’ll see you in four years.

]]> http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/archives/407/feed 0 Give Me, Give Me, Give Me, Coffee, Coffee, Coffee- Pike Place Roast, Starbucks http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/archives/397 http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/archives/397#comments Sat, 26 Jun 2010 19:39:58 +0000 Chris http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/?p=397 I am a god dammed fiend. I need it, man. I jones for it. Give it to me straight up, black, strong, bold deliciousness. I’m a drunk, and a gambler, but those vices fall by the wayside compared to my coffee drinking. I bet I’ve got enough leisure time before work for two pots…. yes, yes, mmmm.

Look, Mr. Budding eco-friendly anti-corporate capitalist, I don’t give a shit about your politics on coffee. I don’t care if it’s farmer friendly, all I care about it getting it. Starbucks is what it is for better or for worse, but dammit they make coffee and that’s all that matters.

The Pike Place Roast blend comes off as a neutral, mild yet perfectly acceptable blend. I find no hint of hazelnut or vanilla, just a nice clean roasted bean. I’ve had a few burnt batches, that tasted like drinking coffee that had cigarettes ashed in it, but that may be my coffee maker. The poor girl is getting older, and the brewing is becoming more inconsistent.

I have always found that the best way to get the taste from a blend is to let it cool down until it is almost cold. The true aroma really seems to reveal itself when it’s not burning your tongue.

Would I recommend the Pike Place Roast you ask? Well, honestly that depends. I have no idea how much it cost because I bought the bag when I was drunk. So, if it’s relatively cheap then yes, buy the damn thing. If it’s not then find something else. This is no special coffee. It’s about as non-offensive as they come. I’m sure by now you coffee aficionados will be coming for my head for this very unrefined review, but hey that’s what this blend deserved. Garth Brooks has a BBQ stain on his white T-shirt, and I have coffee stains all my white T-shirts, and my teeth, keyboard, carpet, newspaper, and couch.

NO ROOM FOR CREAM. DRINK IT BLACK!

]]> http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/archives/397/feed 0 Loving Life at The Palms http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/archives/392 http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/archives/392#comments Fri, 25 Jun 2010 00:06:17 +0000 Chris http://blog.reviewthatshit.com/?p=392 What can I say? They gave me three free nights. Yowzer! I’d love to show you pics of this place, but my lack of foresight has led to a lack of pictures.

The rooms are nice (we got bumped up to the Fantasy Tower), and the views are great. James wandering around in a towel preparing for his jacuzzi bath is not so great.

Check out the Ghost Bar, and bring your credit card. Twelve bucks for a Whiskey and Coke, isn’t exactly chump change especially if you find yourself a nice woman to buy a drink for. The view is quite spectacular, and definitely worth going up there if for no other reason than to check it out.

Gambling can be a little pricey generally around ten dollar minimums and up. If you’d like to get cheaper minimums, and possibly raped by a local check out Gold Coast across the street. Seriously, I’d advise you to stay the fuck away from the Gold Coast, it’s strange and old ladies in Prius’ will stalk you until you run away. Keep your hipster doofas ass at The Palms.

The Palms, it’s got a lot going on, and there’s plenty of eye candy. They may have all my money, but dammit I had a good time, and two match boxes.

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