Archive for category Food & Beverage

“Doc J’s”, 1994 Terlingua International Chili Championship Winner

CHILI

When I was a young boy, home alone during the Summer months I would often consume Hormel’s canned chili for lunch. It slides out of the can like dog food, it’s ready to consume after 4 minutes in the microwave and it can be dumped onto anything (I once ate strawberries and chili). I remember it fondly, but like so many foods I loved as a child (any fast food ever) it has lost virtually all of its appeal to me. It is bland, boring and of questionable quality and origin. So with fond memories of what was, and a better understanding of true quality I  began the ritualistic search for something better.

My first chili making foray was undertaken on a cold day in San Francisco. I was essentially jobless, very bored and mildly depressed. I would often fill my days with little projects, like walking from the apartment in the sunset to the mission district to visit a thrift store I read about,  planning a UFO hoax, or dawning a backpacking backpack and cutting through golden gate park to Smart And Final to do grocery shopping, then hoofing it back through the botanical gardens as a workout… Essentially I was like a twenty two year old retiree, just filling up time. One of these lonely, lazy days was spent making chili. I went to a upper scale grocery store and bought something like 5lbs of high quality tri-tip, and all the other necessary ingredients, I think I probably spent fifty bucks. I slaved over it for hours, it was a complicated recipe for a chili dish, and the end result was horrid. The meat fell apart, in a bad way, it was too spicy and a complete failure. The left overs lived untouched in the freezer for months…

Time passed and I improved my cooking skills a considerable bit. I learned a lot about balance in food (and in life, hurrr), and when I was good and ready, I tried making chili again. It was this recipe that I used, and since then I’ve made it probably four times. Each time I figure out a little bit more and worry about the process a little bit less, and each time it gets better and better.

The keys to making good chili are to keep it simple, take it slow and don’t over do it. I’m always tempted to get freaky with a dish, throw in some cinnamon, double the spiciness, toss in a handful of bacon (actually that generally works…) and I’m usually disappointed with the results. What I never understood was that before you go and make abstract art you’ve got to understand the basics. This chili is a great 101 level dish.

I found this recipe on bigoven.com but it apparently takes its basics from a 1994 Championship Chili from the Tirlingua Chili Cookoff produced by non-other than this man.

Jim Hedrick AKA "Doc J" of Roanoke, Virginia

Jim Hedrick AKA "Doc J" of Roanoke, Virginia

One look at that picture and you know two things. The early ’90s were just generally fucked up, and that Doc J is a man that knows himself some chili.

The chili itself is a really simple creation. Basically you’re browning some meat, getting the juices going, adding stock and tomato sauce and bringing it to a simmer. From there you’re just adding in chili powder and spices in three stages throughout the cooking time. The magic seems to happen in the way that the spicing of the chili is staggered, kinda like how hops are added to beer multiple times throughout the boiling process. You build a base, then as the initial spices cook down, add more and vary them to make it pop again. The spiciness of the chili really comes more from the cayenne and the chili powder, than from the chilies that the recipe calls for (three serranos are floated in the pot and removed when soft). However, the actual chilies do impart a certain fresh zing that would otherwise be missed. I couldn’t avoid getting crazy with it and I threw a habanero in there for good measure, I couldn’t tell much of a difference but it certainly increased the badass factor.

When the chili is done it comes out flavorful on the front and mildly spicy on the back end. The broth is absolutely wonderfully greasy and satisfying, I could drink it in the mornings instead of coffee. I add beans to the mix because I like it a little heartier and don’t give a shit what Texas thinks of me (or about anything).

Really chili is remarkably hard to fuck up, follow the recipe, insure you don’t go overboard with the salt and spiciness and you’ll be sitting pretty. The big bonus of chili making comes in the days afterward in which you have a legitimate excuse to chili-ize any other dish. When you’re making chili-cheese omelets at 8am or Frito chili pie at 3am (stoned) you’ll thank me.

“Doc J’s” 1994 Tirlingua Chili Recipe on Big Oven

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Karl Strauss, Tower 10 IPA

tower-10

There was a terrible time in my life, in which I didn’t particularly like big kick ass beers, I drank malt liquor, I drank rolling rock and horrible, horrible shit. I call this time anywhere between the ages of 17-18. When a friend finally got a fake ID, and we had carte blanche reign over the beer isle, I bought a bottle of Stone’s Arrogant Bastard, and a six-pack of Sierra Nevada. I could hardly manage to drink the Arrogant Bastard, the hoppiness was overpowering, even the Sierra Nevada was far from enjoyable to me…

However time heals all wounds, or in this case evolves all palates, and I began to explore the more intense beers not simply because I thought it would make me look like a bad ass (though it is a nice side effect), but out of a sincere lust for something of substance, something with a voice. The India Pale Ale was the first beer style that yelled loud enough for me to pick it out of a crowed.  So like a newly born, blind kangaroo baby, I clung to it as though it were my mother’s fur and crawled instinctively into its nurturing marsupial pouch.

The side effect of my early and often IPA abuse is that I’ve become extremely accustom to the flavor profiles they present. Big hops, tons of bitter lovely flavor and a deliciously tangy lingering aftertaste. While I’m no where near being tired of it, I do feel that it takes a good deal more uniqueness to truly rouse me than it did when I made the switch from Mickey’s Grenades to real beer.

Which brings me at last to the beer this review is supposedly reviewing… Karl Strauss’ Tower 10 IPA. This is a lovely, lovely beer. Appropriately bitter, but not so much that it flattens out the flavor profile. Slightly citrus-y, but not so much that it becomes gimmicky. The aftertaste comes on strong and coats the mouth with a lingering bitterness. It’s balanced, above all else, and engenders love and respect because of this.

Often I think the IPA genre becomes a brewery’s intimidation beer. The brew they produced with maximum hops, full flavored, high percentage, full on attitude, in an attempt to garner some street-cred. While this does produce some truly impressive over-the-top beers, I fear that it sells the IPA style short, and is increasingly pushing it towards homogenization. Tower 10 avoids this, both in marketing that is delightfully lacking “edginess” and in a taste that satisfies the lust for hops, without sacrificing multidimensional flavor in the process.

Interestingly Tower 10 didn’t shake me from my IPA desensitization by blowing me away with it’s intensity, nor did it get my attention by going to extremes in the addition of adjunct flavorings like orange peel or something. Instead it simply followed the old creed “Everything in Moderation” and in doing so it delivers a wonderfully balanced IPA experience.

Karl Strauss, Tower 10 IPA

(Did Ben Franklin really coin “Everything in Moderation”? I feel like every witty quote from American History is either attributed to him or Mark Twain, often erroneously, so why bother siting the source anymore. Right?)

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Good Morning Mr. Coffee

coffeemaker

Rich pots of bold deliciousness.  The warmth and the aroma are the only things that get me up in the morning.  If it weren’t for coffee I may never arise from my slumber.

This liquid gem has been around forever, so it seems reasonable to assume that the brewers would have been perfected some time ago.  That simply isn’t the case.  I have had multiple makers including a couple of Hamilton Beach fancy flim-flams, and one of those stupid single shot makers.  They have all since passed on.  Hopefully to the fiery pits of hell.

Now I have this stylish Mr. Coffee maker, and frankly, it’s quite good.  Let’s look at the features.  It has a clock.  You can set a brew timer that I have never used, and it has a feature that allows a cup to be poured mid-brew without spillage, though that has since broken.  Most importantly it makes a good 12 cups, and it keeps them warm four hours.  The unit doesn’t take up much counter space, and can be tucked in the corner.

So sit back, enjoy your coffee, and brandish a knife at anyone that tries to steal a cup.

Product: Mr. Coffee 12-Cup COF FTX41

Price: $50

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Old Moon (Old Vine) Zinfandel 2007

oldmoonzin

Listen, I feel that wine making is one of the more noble things a person can do with their life. So naturally, I’m biased toward winemakers. I want to love them no matter the quality of their product. Regardless of taste, it’s still wine, and therefore liquid love and happiness. So if I really don’t care for a bottle of wine, I almost feel bad knocking it. All it ever tried to do was bring a little light into the dark cavernous reaches of my heart and I shot it down, rejected it, called it fat and made it cry. Old Moon Zinfandel came to me all sparkles and sunshine and I spit it from my mouth like lukewarm seawater. For this I feel bad.

Old Moon is a Zinfandel made from vines that are 35-70 years old. I don’t know enough about wine making to know if old vines are synonymous with good wine. However, I would wager that a well placed, well tended middle aged vineyard could produce just as equally interesting wines as an ancient vineyard of similar quality. All this is a long winded way of saying, that the Zinfandel vines that Old Moon gets it’s grapes from are old… Take away from that what you will.

Here’s the deal though. This didn’t taste like the Zinfandels I love, it tasted overly fruity. The black cherry that’s mentioned on the label’s tasting notes is certainly there, but too much so. It overwhelmed the whole balance of the thing and left me kinda puckered up. I tried to get through the glass, but the berry tastes were just too much, too sweet. I wanted a Zinfandel that was big and bold and tasted like sunshine, dirt and spice. Something that’s so dry you have to drink water afterward because you’re parched. This wasn’t that… at first.

BUT WAIT! I sit here now, two days after opening this bottle and I’ve got half of it left. Arguably it should no longer be in a great state for drinking. But I figure I’m writing the review, I should have a sip to remember why I disliked it so damn much. I wrest free the cork and because I’m lazy I take a swig straight from the bottle. What the fuck? Hello spicy dryness, hello bold character, hello tannins aplenty. What happened to you Old Moon? What have you become? Did oxygen contamination fix you? Did my palate change almost overnight?

I pour some into a glass to investigate further. Not much change, I can pick up a bit more fruit if I focus hard and sniff deep, it’s so much less than before. Suddenly this wine has become – almost – hot tasting.

What does this mean? Well, I think if there’s one take away from this it’s that any review is horribly subjective. When you’re dealing with taste (I mean literally the sense, not the “there’s no accounting for…” kind) things get even more murky. In this case, I can’t even trust my own palate to tell me the same “truth” on separate days because even it seems subjective and privy to fits of change. To chop up a review of food or drink into a “This sucks. This doesn’t” dichotomy is to be disingenuous and ignorant, at best.

So buy the wine still. Buy all kinds of wine. Remember that wine loves you and it’s up to you to let it into your heart.

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V8 Victory

v8

Beep.  7:30am.  I’m supposed to run, fuck that.

Beep.  8:00am.  Just get your ass up, fuck that.

8:30, 8:45, 9:15, 9:30,9:35, 9:40.  Alright, alright, fine I’ll get up.  I’ve got work in fifty minutes anyway.  Why does my back hurt?  Jacuzzis and Martinis DO NOT MIX.

I’ll take a quick shower, and still have enough time for a cup of coffee, oh thank god.    I still feel like crap.  Work is clearly not an option today, I’ve got to leave in ten.  Good, I need food.  Bagels, no.  Hard boiled eggs, no.  I can’t stomach any of this crap.  V8!  Victory, chug it down.

It’s not only good for hangovers, it is really quite good on it’s own.  The stuff is packed with sodium, oh delicious sodium.  DO NOT GET THE LOW SODIUM V8!  I guarantee life will suck.  Also, drink it cold.  When it’s cold it’s think and a little lumpy, the way I like it.  When it’s room temperature the viscosity is like water, and the taste is mildly offensive.

I hated it at first, but like most good things in life like whiskey and public radio, I learned to love it.  Now it’s part of the routine.  It’s a great pick-me-up too, if you don’t think you’ll make it till lunch.  They make a 5.5oz can, I don’t know what that bullcrap is about.  Get the 11.5oz can, it’s the perfect amount.

Fucked if I know if it has electrolytes, but drink this post boozing and you’re golden.  If you’re feeling like a real trooper in the morning, have a hair of the dog that bit you, and drink a bloody mary.  Much respect.

Alright, I’m swearing off alcohol for at least a day.  I’ll run tomorrow, probably, maybe.

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