Nov 5
I think it’s bullcrap, and today I put it to the test. My dog is acting timid, shaking, and keeps stepping on my head. This could mean that he is sick, unlikely. More likely there is an impending earthquake. He’s been acting strange for a few days, this is going to be a big one.
DAMN YOU CHARLIE, YOU’VE KILLED US ALL… maybe, probably not.
Interview with Matthew Weiner. A great interview from the creator of a great show. Get it while it’s hot.
Nov 4
Personally I am a big fan of the NBC thursday night lineup, but according to the ratings I may be alone in this. CBS’s monday night lineup is in large part watchable, but far from excellent. The best foot CBS has put forward in this lineup, in my eyes, is “The Big Bang Theory.”
It is about the social interactions of four young intellectuals, and a dopey albeit pleasant girl that lives across the hall. It is centered around the most socially apt of the four , Leonard, starring Johnny Galecki. His character is most definitely nerdy, but in a comical manner.
The four work at the nearly burned in a forest fire Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena. The majority of the show takes place in their apartment, but scenes often include the cafeteria of JPL, not as fancy as one might think.
“The Big Bang Theory” walks a fine line between becoming geeky or generic garbage and they do it fairly well. The group’s general lack of social skills is what I find most appealing about the show, followed by their fascination of geeky-assed hobbies.
Sheldon played by Jim Parsons can often be a stitch in the side, not only to other characters in the show, but to me as the viewer. His character lacks basic human emotion, and persist on being right at all cost. While at times it can be funny, other times it is simply obnoxious.
It seems to me that the show appeals to a wide audience because it doesn’t push too far in one particular tone (I’d check the ratings for confirmation, but I’m an incredibly lazy man). However, for that very same reason the show isn’t as good as it could be.
One last thing, I almost forgot. I usually hate show intros and appreciate it when shows like “Scrubs” make it about 2 seconds long. The intro to this show for some reason in very endearing.
CBS: The Big Bang Theory
Airs Mondays at 9:30/ 8:30c
View whatever the crap CBS posts on their website about it here.
Fiscally my life is constantly oscillating between having some money and having no money. I’m on my way back down to the having no money side of things so it seemed fitting to cash in a bowl full of coinage I’ve been saving for my return back to poverty-vile.
My sister and I went to the local Vons to do this. They have a machine there created by elves that’s called a “Coin Master” which automatically counts your coinage. However, just like the elves that run the world’s richest investment banks, they take a cut. In this case 8.9%. That’s a lot but I’m a lazy, lazy man, and even when money gets tight I’m usually willing to pay for something that makes life easier in the near term (like booze for example) even if it ends up costing me down the road (like booze for example).
So we start dumping in the coins, my total comes out to roughly $12.00. Blah, whatever – print – the machine spits out my receipt. Then tells me on it’s crappy little calculator like LCD screen (Coinstar machines are leaps and bounds nicer to look at than Coin Masters. That’s because pixies are responsible for their creation.) to check the coin return. I reach in to find a god damned PILE OF MONEY IN THERE. The sister and I begin to dump this money back into the machine, it spits out about 50% of what I put back in but seems to be reading 100% of it… So we spend the next 10 minutes feeding the machine it’s own excrement until my total reaches $23-ish and change. HOT DAMN! We repeat the process and my sister get’s $25 from it…
Now I know you’re thinking “this is dishonest and evil, and fucking with elves is a bad idea!”, you’re right it is. But I’m not a bad person. A bad person would have gone to his bank and pulled out $1000 in quarters and fed this thing for hours. Wait no, I mean I’m not a smart person because I just thought of that now and I’m too lazy to actually go do it… I guess I’m more afraid of those elves than I thought.
To conclude. If you can find a coinmaster machine that’s fucking up horribly you should probably go and use it. In fact, from here on out I think I’ll probably only use the coinmaster machines, they’re really poorly built (the tray that the coins go into was broken loose when we got there, plus it’s ugly) which means maybe this flaw is systemic. Go forth and pillage, just watch out for elves.
Nov 2
‘Because I said so.’ Great explanation. Hey ma, you want to be the next world leader? This wouldn’t fly in any sort of political exchange so why should it be a valid argument at home?
Obama: Hey Medvedev.
Medvedev: Yeah?
Obama: Suck it.
Medvedev: What… Why?
Obama: Because I said so.
BOOM! Medvedev is so confused and angry he no longer cares about mutual assured destruction, and he blows us all up. Human kind is over.
There’s a review in here somewhere, and I think it has to do with parenthood, or that horrible humanity ending phrase. Parents are the Russia’s of the world, and children are Georgia.
Once in a while your little hell raiser might invade his own South Ossetia, but you still must deal with it in a pragmatic lucid manner. It doesn’t matter even if the European Union (school?) recognizes that it was Georgia that provoked the war (invading that cute girl Sally?). Yes, she’s pregnant, and now you must deal with it, but do it rationally. Think for a second. You can’t force your child into a shotgun wedding without a shotgun.
Right now I remember, this review is about shotguns. THEY ARE AWSOME. Everyone go buy a shotgun right now!
Things you can do with a shotgun include:
‘No, Frank, you can’t eat me. Get the hell out of my BBQ. I don’t care if you made a delicious dry rub designed specifically for human flesh.’
I have no moral qualms with eating people, however I am an anti-cannibal for practical reasons.
Think of cannibalism in the same sense that we think of driving. There is an inherent level of trust when we drive. If too many people start ignoring the rules, running red lights for example, it leads to traffic jams, and a general break down of the entire system. Likewise if we start eating anyone at will, society simply won’t be able to function. The trust is lost, and we become one of those horrible backward-ass third world countries.
Legislation governing cannibalism wouldn’t work either. Maybe we start a human farm, humans raised solely for the purpose of being eaten. The criteria for putting people in this farm would be far too subjective, and influenced by special interest groups. If something like this were to take effect a group like the NRA could come in, and set up some sort of human hunting league, which could lead to God knows what.
Just look at who cannibals are: Tribal people, the Congolese, and Liberians. Not any society I want to be a part of. So, don’t eat your neighbor, and have a Happy Halloween.
What is it about a library that seems to attract people of all ages, races and states of consciousness? I suppose the abundance of chairs featuring arms, the warmth/cool (depending on the season) and the general free-ness of the place draws folks into it’s comforting bookish bosom.
I am convinced that this man is ghost. A long dead master of some eastern metaphysical cult. In life he so loved knowledge that he returns to our earthly plane at night and strolls the halls of our libraries, pausing from time to time to pull a book from the shelf, read a few lines and smile knowingly to himself before moving on. Eventually he becomes exhausted from the strain of materializing his soul and he begins the process of returning to the realm of ghosts and wind. Which is what he’s doing right now.
Even if he isn’t a ghost, I approve completely of his presence in the library. He’s quiet, well kept and has a certain dignified air that hangs about him even while sleeping. Contrasted to the beast man I last reviewed, he is a drowsy zen garden, while tub-tard is a couch on your trashy neighbors lawn.
(A man can go his whole life without getting the chance to photograph something so magical as this. I had to sneak up on them like a wildlife photographer, the fat kid had just settled in and was not yet fully asleep. Very dangerous territory.)
Asian man:
Fat kid:
This device has tested my patience over the last year. At times, I am delighted with it, but often I get mad at the damn thing because it takes forever to unlock, and dial a call.
Last week I was ready to throw by BlackBerry through a wall. I had given up on the lock feature. I downloaded the free StormSlider application which works like the iPhone unlock, and have since been satisfied. I also deleted BlackBerry App World, probably the most clunky, device slowing application ever created. I suppose it’s ironic that RIM designed a horrible application, but I don’t want ironic, I want a good phone.
Yesterday I got their latest update v.5.0.0.328, and I am very surprised with the results. They have greatly improved on the visuals including the elastic tension that the iPhone has, and better transitions between application, and windows.
The whole device feels much snappier too. It no longer clunks along as it often did, and everything is nearly instantaneous when clicked on. Many of the basic features have been tweaked too making the visuals much more pleasant to the eyes.
Note this though. The Storm’s keyboard even in landscape is not made for fat fingers. Sorry tubby, that’s just the way it is. The onscreen keyboard does not compensate in any way for your missteps, though it now does try to guess your words, which I haven’t decided yet if that’s good or bad.
Not many people mention this when writing anything about phones, but which I find particularly useful is the custom dictionary. Basically, if you like to curse, or you’re a racist, and like that to spill into your conversation with people you can put these words into your custom dictionary, and the phone won’t correct you because it knows just how much of a horrible human being you really are.
The BlackBerry Storm has actually, finally managed to be a good phone. The thing is built like a tank, and now the software, dare I say it, works well. I would not buy the thing however, as RIM is due to release a Storm 2 in the near future. If you already have the Storm, for the love of god get the update.
Bitch, seriously get out of my way. There are only 3 of you, and yet you have managed to block the bike path in both directions, and the walking path. It amazes me how oblivious you idiots really are. You are walking an arm lengths apart. Is this just in case you break into involuntary simultaneous jumping jacks?
Your arms are swinging with such vigor I’d swear you were speed walkers, but you’re moving maybe 2 mph. You don’t walk in a straight line, and you yap, oblivious to any other individual that wants to get around your dumb ass. We both know too that if someone came in saying ‘on your left’ you would freak the fuck out, and get all pissy about how they blew by you. To you, bitches of the bike path, FUCK YOU!
The bike path can be a great thing. Running on the street can be sketchy, and it’s nice to get away from the cars. Most people adhere to the concept of the path, and all is well on the carless strip of asphalt. Then there’s these women, and it’s always women. They leave absolutely no room. Personally, when coming at them, I choose one to run directly at, and force her off to the side. I give her a death stare, and I’m considering carrying a shiv just in case she has the nerve to say ‘good morning.’
This all happened on the San Francisquito Trail which is actually a very nice long trail. I usually come in on it at the corner of McBean and Copper Hill, but if you want to drive there you can pick it up at the Valencia Heritage Park on Newhall Ranch Road. This is all in Santa Clarita, CA.
PS: It seems that this site is slowly turning into our hated of humanity. Oh well, so be it.
Oct 26
Standing in line at Vallarta Supermarket I saw whatever the fuck this is. The 5 lbs. of carne aside prevented me from flipping through it, but honestly, do I want to?
Is this a man or a woman? Shehim has clearly been inspired by Robin Williams in the 90’s sensation Mrs. Doubtfire.
Magazine aside Vallarta is a magical land of wonder and delight. It caters to the latinos in us all, and especially to the high concentration of hispanics living in the area. They have vats of guacamole and nacho cheese the size of a victorian bath tub. All types of meat, fresh produce, a little eating area, and fresh tortillas make it all so grand. It is a bustling vibrant establishment, and worth checking out.
Hell Yes!
Often they have some radio station that comes down and makes an ass load of noise. You will know when this is going on because there is a 30 ft. inflatable tecate can.
Vallarta also has a service that delivers food or picks people up, I’m not quite sure. All I know is those fucks drive 40 mph through the parking lot, and have nearly taken me out on multiple occasions.
Wrap Up: Fire up the grill, get some beer, and buy whatever damn dead animal your heart desires. You won’t regret it.
You can find store locations at http://www.vallartasupermarket.com/
